How I came to have a pact with King Paimon of the Goetia

​Funny story actually. He actually coerced me into doing so, and I don’t blame him, we’re both artistic types and I give very good offerings.
So I was just chilling, stressing out about things trying to multitask, and I had this very annoying thought in the back of my head because the eyebrow hair of my left eyebrow was growing all weird and patchy. So while I was trying to focus on more important things, that annoyance was commanding my attention. And KP came and offered to take care of it for me. And I was skeptical honestly, but it wasn’t a long shot cause I had conjured him earlier that week, I just thought it was silly he would offer help in that kind of thing.
So yeah, I shrugged it off and he kept thought projecting the base of the ritual in my head until I gave up resisting. He was persistent. So I did the ritual as directed, and it worked by the way, my brows look great. 🙂
But yeah, so throughout the ritual, he directed me in steps further and such until the end of the ritual. And after the ritual, I said my goodbyes and thank yous, and he stopped me and asked to talk for 10 more minutes and I abided. 
So I sit in front of his painting and I’m like “what’s up”
And he’s like “So, why do you not use the traditional way of conjuring?
And I ended up going on a long diatribe about how I hated the traditional way, wished to make my own way, and vented like an hour’s worth of things in about two minutes because it just all came out at once.
And I couldn’t really hear him much after that really so I said thank-you, left the room and apologized cause I had to leave and I heard him say something like “Ugh, humans and their routines.” 
So yeah, I worked out, showered, and continued work. 
And as I was doing my work, he kept thought projecting pact making in my head. Over and over again. I was like “meh.” But he was eager and persisted.

He should have known and analyzed the little wild fire (me) and what he was getting mixed up with. Seriously. I’m a sweet and sour little fire ball, even to an “infernal.”

But eventually I talked directly to him and said “write a pact right now? I don’t feel eloquent enough for that right now.” And he was still eager. So eventually I yielded and grabbed my paper and clipboard to write a “rough draft” out of ritual space in order to entertain him. And even though I had not done it in the typical way I would, all the words flowed out like water as I asked him what he wanted. I filled the entire page in under a minute and he signed it in a flaming seal (his own). And before I can even ask why he had a ring around his seal, he tells me. “It is for pact making.” 

Though it was just a flaming circle around his seal, no name.

And he imprinted it on the paper and had me sign. Now that I think about it, I don’t know why I did it because I could have worked with anyone else for less. (And typically, I’m more attracted to darker Saturnian types like Azazel or Lucifuge.)

Fascinating. So yeah, that little rough draft ended up being okay for him and it was very fair. A bit challenging on my end though, but I’m a challenging person anyways. Literally with him I have to learn to NOT be bitter, jaded and callous. Who would have guessed? I am learning a lot though. See him in blue and gold glimmers, in the corner of my eyes, etc. Learning how laid back and funny he can be which is a few good traits I should reclaim. Stress is good for no one. So him making laugh while I’m being upright is a breath of fresh air.
Thanks KP! 


Business Bath Spell by King Paimon

Greetings, All! I do not know if this has ever occured to you but King Paimon can be both an Earth and a Water type! I know right? But the truth is that it’s not really a long shot. I mean, it’s in his very description. 

“He can discover unto thee what the Earth is, and what holdeth it up in the Waters; and what Mind is, and where it is; or any other thing thou mayest desire to know.” –

S. L. MacGregor Mathers

So yeah, the thing is. Water represents emotion, receptivity, and feminine energy. Literally right when I was about to publish this blog, it fucked up, so maybe I should be more direct. From my experience, the way to go with King Paimon is to be more receptive than projective. He may be a cryptic enigma at times but he is also very wise and may need you to listen. He is also very fun and charming at times though. But anyways, what does this have to do with the quote or with the bath spell? So you can be more receptive to what you’re wanting to manifest (attacting customers.)

And also to tell the world that what he can bring is knowledge of self and more profound self awareness. I mean, I am usually as reflective as water and self divinate. And while it may take me days, weeks, or even months to figure out the root of a feeling, he can literally tell me in a heartbeat and help me solve such and such as a guide. King Paimon is seriously fucking awesome.

So what I’m saying is the waters represent your fee-fees(emotion, or deeper psychology)

And also bath spells are an important way of manifesting, especially if you want something fast. Because harvesting your ingredients is already setting your intent, and then you submerge yourself in your conduits(ingredients), intent in mind. And also as you are relaxing, you’re already letting your intent go out into the universe. So when doing this, I recommend you RELAX. And I mean, just think about it, if you keep projecting your will over and over again, whenever it decides to come, you’d just be pushing against it. So RELAX buddy. ;p

So here are the ingredients:

  • Cardamom (1tsp)
  • milk (1-3cups)
  • sugar (1/2-1 1/2 cups)
  • vanilla extract (1-3 drops)
  • whole orange peels (3)
  • bergamot (1-3tbsp)
  • blueberries(1-5cups)

And of course if you are allergic you can just substitute or exclude it, ya knuckleheads. :p

Now I would recommend boiling the orange peels for 5 minutes to let out the scent a little, and as it is cooling, add the blueberries. And when it’s fully cooled or just luke warm, put all the ingredients together. Whether you wanna strain the water is up to you but I’d say keep it. Have your statement of intent with you and just have it by the tub or whatever feels right. Start the water to desired temperature, light your candles, relaxing music, incense, etc. Make sure the water isn’t draining so you don’t waste your ingredients. You don’t have to say a prayer or incantation but if it feels right, do so. I believe collecting the ingredients is already setting intent but that’s just me. When the water is a certain amount, add the mixture, in the dark candle lit bathroom, and just relax. 

This bath is designed for attracting customers and removing any internal or external obstacles you may have. And also to sweeten them to you. 

I hope this was useful. Later Potaters! 😀


Enter Witch of Watchtower

Hello other terrestrials and not, welcome to my blog. 

>Implying I’m not an alien

>Implying you’re not ether (porpoise)(double pun intended)

That is dank OC from me, by the way.

I am an esotericist/occultist and practitioner of magick. I make a lot of dank maymays (memes) and I love to cook with demons. Yeah some demons like cooking, so what? You wanna meme about it?

I am new to writing to a wider audience other than myself and close friends, so bare with me as I’ll be experimenting by mixing in the different elements of my complex personality and sharing my stories with you that made me the complex being I am today. I will most likely be writing on occult based things, but not so much in the instruction manual way, but more personal type of experiences with different gods, goddesses and beings in hopes that someone with the same kind of experiences won’t feel so alone. 🙂 Because that is what the arts are for anyways! 

I mean think about it, every feeling you’ve ever had or situation you’ve ever been through has probably been expressed through some sort of artistic medium whether song, poem, painting or meme, it’s fudging universal. >Insert Fudge

Basically what I’m trying to say is, I hope this information and these experiences help someone, intellectually or not. >Insert Potato

Here is a personal painting of one of my Patrons:

I tried to capture him on Pokemon Go and he got mad at me and wouldn’t help me find my headphones. Just kidding, he probably got jealous from me trying to do spell work with someone else. Anyways, I don’t know why but he was angry with me for sometime and wouldn’t help me/warm up to me until today. I’ve been so busy, I don’t know what I did. But after he yielded and helped me, I made him the offering he wanted (pancakes) and he finally warmed up to me a bit.

This is King Paimon of The ineffable Goetia. I hear from others that he loves wine but being that I am an empath with spirits for some reason, I also know he loves deep, dark & rich berry juices like pomegrante, cherry, grape, cranberry, and any dark mixture of the juices. I recommend actual fruit juice and not colored water pumped up with sugar. Get this one some Ocean Spray or even Welch’s Sparkling. I’ve seen him go bananas over some pomegranate/cherry mixed. 

He is also a creative type which is why we get along and he likes to be in charge in the kitchen. For some reason he likes to help me cook and enjoyed the team effort of co-creating his offering today. (I make a lot of things from scratch) We also collaborated on his painting you see here, he was directing me on mixing colors and decided to make his base blue and also yellow. At first I was vexed but then abided, he wanted to make his color scheme even weirder but I toned it down a notch, same with making his pancakes today. He wanted me to add mustard cause he wanted them sour and salty, I was like no. So I added salt and he directed me to add honey, cinnamon, and a few pinches of cayenne. So I guess he would be good for hands-on and crafty creative endeavors. 

His sweet, intelligent, and commanding persona is not to be underestimated. He was not at all what I expected. It seems to me that unless you have something he wants, he won’t work with you unless you have something to offer. And if you want to build a relationship, you’re going to have to learn to flow with his directions when he’s wanting to co-create through you.

Perhaps not everything has to be about business.