New and Renewed Feelings for Satanism

Hi, I am the Shop owner of a little-known business but great ratings, Moon Marquis.

Ever since I was young, I never knew quite where I fit in. Religiously or career wise. I was always a jill of many arts and interests, master of none. Not that I wanted to really fit in anyways, I just always knew I needed at least one niche or thing I was really good at, or core structure of belief. For me, it has always been difficult as I flipped flopped from nihilism to mysticism. From ceremonial magick to hoodoo, to just plain doing magick for satirical purposes. I would study magick for the fun of it while having little or no belief, in hopes that I could do something with what I’ve learned. But without actually putting myself out there for the small world of the seekers to see, I bare little fruit.

So what does this have to do with Satanism? I find myself in the current of Satanism again. And aside from demonolatry, I really don’t study Satanism at all. Satanism is more like a state of being for me, and not a particularly negative one. Even though to me, Satan is as real as Santa Claus or the Boogie Man, I truly do treat that archetype as an infinite source of hidden power and knowledge. Like a dark version of universal “source” itself. And this has nothing to do with an over-romanticizing of “the devil,” though my love for this being has rekindled. For me, using the name “Satan” is just using that figure as a gatekeeper to open the door to draw in from that dark universal source for personal power. As coo-coo as that sounds.

So aside from that, what does the symbol Satan or S.A.T.A.N mean to me?

S= Self Mastery, Self Study, Saturnic Sphere of Influence, Sacrifice, Strength, Source Energy
A= Arts, Animal Totems, Anthropology, Articulation
T= Time discipline, Terrible for justified means
A= Aether, Answers via divination, Air travel
N= Nether or The Void, No masters above

You can do pretty much anything you want to the anagram to fit your personal needs. But honestly, Satan is not only a source of universal divine wisdom but of Freedom and Self Mastery. He is like me of the past, present, and future. A perfect yet very flawed creature on the path of self knowledge and self awakening. He reminds me of the mortal self and it’s connection to darkness. That deep primordial darkness we feed from, yet fear, and or long for. Like a hidden part of ourselves we keep looking for. Never to find it truly until we remember what it is.

And finally, Satan to me is a symbol of the beginning, middle, and end. Like a serpent biting it’s own tail. In my belief system, I AM Satan, but I am also not, and never will be. I have never been Satan, yet Satan has always been a part of me that I would seek, forget about, and seek again. I just remembered recently how much this egregore meant to me. How? I don’t know. Maybe because of my recent need to draw on and call upon some extra inner strength and personal power. Being that Satan was created before I was born, though to me he is made up, I feel as though he has always been there. Yet I can mold him to what I need. If the spirit is willing, that is.

-Moon Marquis

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